Trauma can be either with a capital T or small t.  The small t represents the beginning of experiences that are a shock and create post trauma stress. The capital T are extreme incidences of experiences, rocking the ground out from beneath you, that involve physical invasiveness, in non-consensual sexual or lethal, death experiences.  Any trauma is emotionally wrecking.  Some of the post-trauma effects include avoidance of anything that even remotely reminds you of a traumatic experience you once had.  The trauma may be buried, but a reaction will erupt unexpectedly. 

Post-traumatic stress can show up as flight, fight or freeze.  Typically, you don’t want to deal with the thoughts, feelings or memory associated with the yuk event.  Yet sensation, memories or associated feeling can be triggered.  Triggers erupt into a flash across your mind or are felt in your body.  Sometimes barely perceptible.  Until neutralized, these buried trauma aftereffects come back.

Effects of the stress can distract you from enjoying a pleasurable moment during lovemaking.  Emotionally you “go away”, physically you stop or react with strong emotions.  Your dearest may ask “what happened, why did you stop?” or “why are you yelling?”. 

Give yourself permission to deal with your own trauma to begin its release and transformation.